CHAPTER TWO: THE BEGINNING OF MY QUEST TO IMPROVE STUDENT LEARNING

What is Action Research, and Why did I choose the living theory approach to action research using a narrative form?

Action Research is a form of practitioner-based research that involves individuals, groups, and organizations thinking about and reflecting on their work to improve their professional practices. It is associated with the work of Kurt Lewin, a social scientist who began action research in the U.S.A. in the 1940s. Action Research was influenced in the United Kingdom through the work of Lawrence Stenhouse, John Elliot, Clem Adelman, Stephen Kemmis, and others (McNiff & Whitehead, 2000).

Action research involves researchers in self-reflective practice; they put themselves at the centre of their inquiry (McNiff, 1995). Jack Whitehead, at the University of Bath during the 1970s, developed "a form of enquiry that placed people at the heart of the matter" (McNiff & Whitehead, 2000, p. 198). Whitehead emphasized that "the 'living "I"' was at the centre of the enquiry" (McNiff & Whitehead, 2000, p. 199). His theory for living generated response to the question "How can I improve my practice?"

Sixteen members attended our final June meeting of the Brant Action Research Network. Powerful presentations were delivered by teacher practitioner-researchers as they shared their final action research project results for celebration and dialogical discussion. The following day the coordinator questioned my response addressed to one of the presenters because I suggested that the researcher's concern should be expressed in the form of a question using "I" at the centre of the research. I agreed with the coordinator that the project presented was subjective and that the word "I" was used throughout the paper. The project did "celebrate a 'living form' of educational theory that was open ended and contained an intention to create something better"(McNiff et al., 1997, p. 21). However, "I" needed to be articulated in the form of a "living contradiction"(Whitehead, 1989). When I experience a concern where my values are being denied in my practice, the "I" exists as a living contradiction. The researcher needed to imagine a solution to her concern in the form of a question, taking responsibility for making improvements in her own work. (H. Knill-Griesser, reflective journal, June 21, 2001)

Living educational theories

encourages individuals to clarify the values base of their work, and to try to live their values in their practice, recognising that this inevitably gives rise to contradictions. The focus of action research is to try at least to understand, and aim to resolve the contradictions, so that the researcher may work more productively and enable others to do the same. (McNiff & Whitehead, 2000, p. 201)

Technical rationality is associated with the positivist paradigm involving teachers as technicians applying theoretical knowledge to solve problems in their practice. In the application of theory to practice, the knowledge and experience of the teacher is not considered, thus silencing the voice of the practitioner. In contrast to technical rationality is the qualitative interpretivist paradigm which is subjective in nature. The interpretivist paradigm puts the teacher at the centre of the inquiry. The teachers develop their own theories about improving student learning and do not receptively apply the theories of higher education to their practice. Schön (1983), in his study of reflective practice, identified key elements: knowledge-in-action; reflection-in-action; and reflection-on-action (cited in Ghaye & Ghaye, 1998). Knowing-in-action "generates a rich and detailed knowledge base derived from practice" (Ghaye & Ghaye, p. 4). Reflection-in-action is an interpretation of the situation in the midst of action. Further action is guided by an analysis of the situation. Reflection-on-action is conscious and deliberate reflection that occurs after the event, guiding future action (Ghaye & Ghaye). My study is immersed in the qualitative interpretivist paradigm. Reflective journalling, surveys, and written correspondence are used as data sources in my study.

My 1998 action research project began with a review of the summary of attitudes of grade 3 students in our school from the grade 3 Education, Quality and Accountability Office's (EQAO) Ontario Provincial Assessment (Knill-Griesser, 2001). I was concerned with the low response to the statements "I like mathematics" and "I am good at mathematics." I developed my own theory about improving student learning by designing a complete math program that would improve students'attitudes towards math and consequently their success in math (knowledge-in-action). While students participated in the math program, I collected data using a reflective journal, anecdotal records, checklists, and rubrics (reflection-in-action). Reflection-on-action occurred as I analyzed parent and student math attitude surveys, student journals, photographs, correspondence, and revisited my reflective journal entries.

McNiff (2000) describes reflection-in-action and reflection-on-action as a "generative transformational process". As with our stories our learning is never fixed, with each answer generating a new question to be considered. Action research is a system of cycles that are interconnected.

The pattern shows the interconnectedness of people, intrapersonal and interpersonal processes, where practice at a personal-social level is integrated by the same pattern of holistic connectedness, the same commitment to find ways of living that accommodate pluralistic and divergent manifestations within the same integrated movement towards continuing life. (McNiff, 2000, pp. 205-206)

As the following story illustrates, the heart of the reflective process in my study is the recognition of universal patterns and threads that weave through my narrative experiences, revealing my system of values.

I sat and watched my Mother, at a Pow Wow on Bear Island on Lake Temagami, Ontario, a few years ago and witnessed my mother become one with the ceremony and the heartbeat of the drum. My mother explained to me that her father was of Native American descent. This family connection explained the sense of "one-ness" I was experiencing as my heart and body participated in the dancing and singing of the colourful summertime gathering. It also explained the deep fascination that I have had with the intricate designs of the dream-catchers created by the People of the First Nations.

Every Spring to begin our Exploring Contributions Integrated Unit, studying the interactions between the Pioneers and Native People, I would collect the tender branches from willow trees for my class. Twine was measured in units from students' "elbows to finger tips" and coloured feathers and beads were collected to be shared amongst our "circle of friends." To model the process of creating the three-dimensional work of art, we would gather and sit in a circle. A legend of a young native girl searching for a cure for her ill father, the Chief of the tribe, would be shared with the students as I created the dream keeper and discussed the importance of the circle. The circle was important to the people of the First Nations. The earth, the sun, and the moon are all circles. Our life cycle is a circle. The young girl was advised by the Shaman to create a dream keeper to cure her father.

The young girl bent the willow into a circle to form the endless cycle of life. A thread or sinew was wrapped around the overlapping ends so the circle was tightly held. The thread was then looped around the circle at five evenly spaced points, forming a five-pointed star. The first point stood for green and growing things. The second stood for all that moves and breathes. The third represented the elements. The fourth was a symbol for Mother Nature. The fifth stood for the sun, stars, and everything we could not touch. From the dream keeper were hung a feather and coloured beads; white for clouds, blue for water, red for animals, brown for soil, and green for plants. The dream keeper was hung directly above the bed to catch the good spirit while evil spirits were allowed to escape through the middle. The wise chief awoke from his deep sleep cured of his illness. (My version of a Native American Legend)

I shared this legend not only with my students but with my four children as well. The interconnected web of the dream keeper is a metaphor for the transformational process of action research and my reflective narratives. (Knill-Griesser, Reflection, March 11, 2001)

The narratives in my study describe the successes and challenges I have experienced integrating the evidential base that ensures consistency of my values. In Chapter Three I have chosen a narrative that describes the success I experienced working collaboratively with a curriculum writing team of three teachers. My values of leading beside my peers, creating opportunities for growth and risk taking are described in the narrative. Chapter Four includes a narrative that describes the challenge I experienced while attending a conference where the teacher consultants' voice was not included in discussions dedicated to reflection, research, and renewal. My values of listening with heart and valuing the voices of others were missing at the roundtable discussions.

How does one begin the journey of the generative transformational process? (McNiff, 1995). I have found the following action research form to be successful in my practice:

1. I review my current practice,
2. I identify an aspect that I want to improve,
3. I imagine a way forward,
4. I try it out, and
5. Take stock of what happens.
6. I modify my plan in the light of what I have found and continue with the "action",
7. I continually monitor what I do,
8. I evaluate the modified action,
9. and so on until I am satisfied with that aspect of my work.

(cited in McNiff & Whitehead, 2000, pp. 204-205)

Action research and "reflections-on-practice" have become a "way of life" in my professional practice. I reflect on the context of the situation, reflect on my values, reflect on my practice, and finally reflect on improvement (Ghaye & Ghaye, 1998). In my role as teacher consultant, I consistently request feedback from my peers in the form of workshop reflection sheets, surveys, questionnaires, and through informal dialogue. I reflect on the comments and concerns indicated by my peers and reflect on improvement to address the next steps in my practice. My daily planner acts as a springboard to record entries weekly in my reflective journal. I reflect on the situations that have occurred in my practice during the week, reflect on my values, and write with my heart. The beginning of every school year is the beginning of a new action research cycle where I reflect on my values, practice, and finally reflect on how I can improve my practice to improve student learning.

The path of transformation should be a "path with heart." In Campbell's (1988) words, the path with heart is "following one's bliss." The teacher, then, should be engaging in practice that makes him or her feel fully alive. (Drake & Miller, 1991, p. 331)

Narrative is a methodology and a method in research terms. "Narrative names the structured quality of experience to be studied, and it names the patterns of inquiry for its study" (Clandinin & Connelly, 1994, p. 416). One way of representing action research is through narrative and story. "Stories are generative in the way they encourage diverse and original interpretations for both their authors and their audiences" (McNiff et al., 1997, p. 21). To experience being fully alive I use narrative and story to describe how I experience the world and establish relationships. "The main claim for the use of narrative in educational research is that humans are storytelling organisms who, individually and socially, lead storied lives" (Connelly & Clandinin, 1990, p. 2). Narrative is described as both product and process (Connelly and Clandinin) and it is the process of inquiry and reflection-on-practice that will lead to the end of my quest . "The writing in personal narrative inquiry is therefore not arbitrary, but develops within the writing and within the dynamic of the writer's life. One might compare it to a quest that presses for acknowledgment through inquiry" (Conle, 2000, p. 193). Diamond and Mullen (1999) state, "We do not just experience the world. We experience ourselves in it. Self-narrative is especially useful for promoting reflection on, and change in, self"(p. 241).

I write my narratives and stories using a personal experience method (Clandinin & Connelly, 1994). When I am studying my chronology of life experiences I am attempting to recover meaning from the past. The stories I select have personal and educational significance, and I then make connections to reconstruct this meaning into my life experiences and values of present day. To study my personal experiences I focus in "four directions: inward and outward, backward and forward" (Clandinin & Connelly, 1994, p. 417). Inward represents feelings and hopes, in contrast to outward which describes the characters and settings or environment. Backward is a description of the history, and forward moves from the past to the present and future. Chapter One describes my experience in a grade two classroom where caring, creativity, and love of learning were valued (backward and inward). The interactive classroom environment was prepared by a caring teacher who invited me to build on my knowledge and experience my own learning (backward and outward). I then moved forward to my own classroom to describe a Hallowe'en experience with my own students. In my classroom, care and integrated curriculum were the focus to provide opportunities for students to perform in an environment of trust, risk-taking, and collaborative decision-making (forward, inward, and outward). I conclude the chapter describing my future relationships with teachers in my role as teacher consultant.

Chapter Two describes my experience at a Pow Wow a few years ago (backward, inward, and outward) where my narrative experience helped me to reveal my system of values as I connected with the ceremony and the heartbeat of the drum. I move forward and inward as my colleague, Elaine Hamilton, describes our connection and relationship as kindred spirits. Chapter Two connects theory to the action research process (outward).

I look inward in Chapter Three to my values of loving care, trust, empathy, listening with heart, humour, collaborative decision making, and passion for learning and move forward to reveal how these values are demonstrated now in my practice. The voices of my peers and academic literature (outward) acknowledge the importance of these values in supporting teachers to improve student learning. Chapter Four explores complications in my quest (backward). I look inward at my espoused values and discover conflict when my values are not evident in my practice. I move forward to explore the living contradictions and act upon the concerns that are denied in my practice. Chapter Five includes a description of my "Living Standards of Practice." My living standards of practice emerge from my values (inward) and I move forward to describe how I can improve the quality of my influence in my exploration of my living and developmental values in my professional practice.

When did my research begin and how I reformulated my initial question

My action research project began with a review of the 1998-99 Grade Three Provincial Assessment Results in Writing in my combined grades 3 and 4 classroom at Graham Bell School in the Grand Erie District School Board. I was concerned with the overall achievement of the students in writing. Only 14% of the students were performing at levels 3 and 4; 22% of the girls were performing at levels 3 and 4 compared to 6% of the boys. An interpretation of the results indicated that further work was required to have students perform at level 3 in writing to meet the provincial standards. The current practice was reviewed and the following aspects of the practice as a research issue was identified (McNiff, 1995). The question for the action research project became,

How can I help students improve their writing using available resources, parent involvement, and developmental assessment tools?

A critical look was taken at my writing program and the resources available in the classroom. "Making an episode 'critical' means exploring its significance from a range of different perspectives. It means questioning the taken-for-granted assumptions about it" (McNiff et al., 1997, p. 20). New resources were purchased that included visual aid materials, print resources including communicating skills texts, writing handbooks, personal dictionaries, and writing folders, home study journals, and writing manipulatives. To establish a writing base line, students completed a variety of assessments. The writing process was integrated across the curriculum. Dialogue journalling occurred between the teacher and students in reading response journals. Research projects and genre studies encouraged the use of planning frameworks from First Steps Writing. Students expanded their vocabulary through the use of hands-on spelling and phonics activities. A mentoring program was established with the kindergarten class where the grade 3 and 4 students assisted their "buddies" with reading and computer literacy. Peer and self-evaluation were reinforced in the writing program. Parents were involved in the writing program by participating in a home study journal with their children.

My inquiry was moving forward until December 15, 1999 when I began my new position as Teacher Consultant - Primary Division for the Grand Erie District School Board. In my role as Teacher Consultant - Primary Division for the Grand Erie District School Board I was to work collegially with administrators, teachers, curriculum support staff, and the Program Coordinators of Curriculum and Assessment to implement initiatives and improve classroom practice. As a practitioner-researcher I would support schools and teachers as they planned to improve student learning.

Feelings and experience come together in the first step of any thesis work, that is, they come together in the motivation that generates initial involvement with a topic...we expect this motivation to come from the inquirer's personal interests and expertise and, to a major extent, from the needs of the field, that is , from gaps in a body of knowledge that needs to be completed or expanded. (Conle, 2000, p. 194)

What would become of my initial research project? Would I have to abandon my initial project because I would no longer be able to collect data on my students? I approached the newly appointed teacher to my classroom, Elaine Hamilton, and asked her if she would be interested in proceeding with my action research project. Elaine wrote,

Heather explained the action research project that she was implementing in her class and her inability to complete the project without access to the children in her new role as Primary Consultant. I agreed to assist Heather with completing the action research project. Then I questioned my sanity. "What had I done!!" I trusted Heather's judgement, believed in our connections/relationship which had in many ways existed before Heather and I existed. Our grandmothers had been friends and we grew up together attending the same public schools. As kindred spirits our professional relationships/values/beliefs were one. (Hamilton & Knill-Griesser, 2000, p.1)

I assured Elaine that I would continue to provide support to her in her role of practitioner-researcher. It was important for me not to visit the classroom to make the transition for Elaine and the students as smooth as possible, but I could provide support to her as a friend, teacher consultant, and co-practitioner-researcher.

I was now faced with a new phase in the inquiry process. A practitioner-researcher is "thinking and searching all the time, never complacent or content to let less than satisfactory situations go unattended. Complacency and inertia are neither generative nor transformative; they are stultifying to the life process itself" (McNiff & Whitehead, 2000).

"In personal narrative inquiry, the body of knowledge to be explored is the writer's life. The motivation is therefore likely to come from the writer's interest, her expertise, as well as the particular lifeworld that is her own" (Conle, 2000, p. 194). I reviewed my current practice and discovered that many teachers that I visited were overwhelmed with new curriculum, planning, and assessment issues. I was concerned with meeting the individual needs of the teacher, maintaining an open line of communication, and listening actively and supportively to understand their emotions and values.

It was my goal to create environments and opportunities that would result in the empowerment of teachers (Short, 1998). Paula Short revealed that "teachers feel more empowered when they believe that they have the skills and ability to help students learn, are competent in building effective programs for students and have command of the subject matter and teaching skills"(p. 70). Sergiovanni (1992) described "power to" as a source of energy for achieving shared purposes and goals. He recognized that empowerment was necessary in order to participate in accomplishing tasks that were rewarding and meaningful. "Listening, empathy, healing, awareness, persuasion, conceptualization, foresight, stewardship, commitment to the growth of people, and building community" (Frick & Spears, 1996, p. 4) were critical characteristics of the servant leader that I valued in my connections with individuals. Trust, respect, autonomy, collaborative decision making, and risk taking were foundational in my symmetrical relationships with my peers. In agreement with Beck (1992) I placed caring at the top of the values hierarchy (cited in Regan & Brooks, 1995, p. 29). Robert Greenleaf stated that "caring for persons, the more able and the less able serving each other, is the rock upon which a good society is built" (1977, p.49). I have a passion for learning that drives me along my journey of the heart, producing a life-affirming energy.

The self-regulatory body of the teaching profession in Ontario, The Ontario College of Teachers, has produced the document, "Standards of Practice for the Teaching Profession" (OCT, 1999). The document consists of statements elaborated to include the standards of practice for the teaching profession. Delong and Whitehead (1998) suggested that linking standards of practice to action research endeavours is critical to creating standards that are living and developmental. In my "living standards of practice" I would share narratives of my professional growth and relationships that were my living and developmental values (Laidlaw, 1998) to explain the questions,

How do I know that I am having a positive influence on your learning?

How can I support you to improve student learning in the classroom?

How can I improve the quality of my influence in the classroom?

Who was involved in my research?

McNiff and Whitehead (2000) describe action research as a "participative collaborative practice" (p. 204). McNiff (2000) "links the idea of action research with the idea of educational processes; action researchers show the process of the growth of their own understanding, and how that then has a potential beneficial influence in the lives of others" (p. 204). I was concerned with improving the quality of my influence through an exploration of my living and developmental values in my professional practice in my relationships with teachers, curriculum support staff, program coordinators, administrators, and parents.

What was the method of my research study?

Data Collection

My entry plan when assuming the role of Teacher Consultant Primary Division was to survey teachers/administrators that I served to solicit information about how I might best meet their needs in planning, curriculum, and assessment. I created a "Primary Years Survey" that questioned teachers as to how I could help them with their planning, curriculum, and assessment needs. I visited the 33 schools, introducing myself to the principal and staff and hand-delivering the survey. I followed through on each request from the approximately 50 surveys that were returned. My responses ranged from providing specific resources to teachers, to assisting teachers with planning/assessment needs and collaboratively writing curriculum units. A follow-up sheet was distributed to teachers to determine if I had helped them with their planning, curriculum, and assessment needs and asking how I could help them in the future. One hundred percent of the questionnaires returned indicated that I had been successful in supporting teachers in the areas of planning, curriculum, and assessment. Many questionnaires indicated how I could further assist teachers to improve student learning in the classroom. A questionnaire was distributed to program coordinators and curriculum support staff after I had been in the position approximately 6 months that included the following questions:

1. It is very important to me to ensure consistency of my values in all aspects of my practice. What do you observe to be my values in my relationships/communication with curriculum support staff/teachers?
2. What do you observe to be my strengths in my relationships/communication/performance as Primary Consultant?
3. What do I need to work on, modify, or change?
4. How have I influenced your learning?

Responses to the question "What do I need to work on, modify, or change?" would assist me in my action plan, "How can I improve the quality of my influence in the classroom?"

The purpose of an action plan is to encourage practitioner-researchers to ask questions about their practice that would be addressed with the collection of evidence. Action planning can involve the following questions:

• What is my research interest?
• Why am I interested?
• What kind of evidence will I gather to show why I am interested?
• What can I do about it?
• What kind of evidence will I gather to show that what I am doing is having an influence?
• How will I ensure that any judgements I might make are reasonably fair and accurate?
• What will I do then?

(McNiff & Whitehead, 2000, p. 206)

I had addressed the initial two questions in my action plan, and now needed to gather data to answer the remaining questions.

Data is [sic] not evidence. Data is [sic] the initial information which shows the situations as it is. It is important to identify criteria which will act as clear indicators about how the situation might be judged to have improved through action....It is then possible, by identifying particular pieces of the data which match the proposed criteria, to show evidence of improvement. The evidence can be used to support claims to knowledge. (McNiff & Whitehead, 2000, p. 208)

My data collection process included the use of a reflective journal to record events and critical incidents.

Belenky and her coauthors (1986) found that many women reported the use of a diary or journal to facilitate the process of finding their voices and to validate speaking from an intuitive sense, or "from the gut." Through this they gained some power over their lives and a growing sense of self. These women grew personally and intellectually as they "found their voices." (Cole & Knowles, 2000, p.57)

I found it extremely difficult to record journal entries daily due to the time commitment of my role as teacher consultant. My daily planner acted as a catalyst from which I would record the stories and events in my journal once per week, generating data. The journal assisted me in finding my voice. My voice would help me to gain power and confidence as I attempted to learn the role of my new position.

As I reflect on the past week I am aware of the increase in my confidence level in my new position. I travelled to Caledonia today, map in hand, and made positive connections with both the staff and administrators.

I recall a conversation with Bob, an Intermediate Teacher Consultant, this week who reinforced that in our role as teacher consultants we wear many "hats." We are salespeople (selling our product in curriculum and assessment), resource persons (delivering materials), social workers (listening with empathy and understanding to problems and concerns), and teachers (offering suggestions and ideas). We are students, as well, learning new programs and initiatives so that we can become effective trainers. Just as important is being a friend, building relationships that are based on trust.

Understanding that I need all these hats in my "closet" helps to give me direction in my role. (H. Knill-Griesser, reflective journal, January 28, 2000)

The data collection process also included interviewing five teachers whom I interacted with in the following situations: curriculum writing team; in-service of math journals in the classroom; or involvement in an action research project. I presented the teachers with the following questions:

1. Can you describe your experience participating as a member of the writing team/action researcher/using math journals in the classroom?
2. What are the benefits of using this method of planning?
3. What are the difficulties using this method of planning?
4. Did this experience have a positive influence on your learning?
5. Will the final product help to improve student learning in your classroom? Please explain.
6. How can I support you to implement the final product in your classroom?
7. How can I improve the quality of my influence as a writing team leader?

These interview questions were chosen to determine if the experience was a successful learning opportunity for teachers to assist them with improving student learning in their classrooms. The questions provided information regarding next steps that I could take to support teachers as well as offer suggestions as to how I could improve the quality of my influence as a writing team leader. Responses to the questions would indicate whether my implicit and espoused values were aligned, identifying my living contradictions.

I worked collaboratively with Elaine Hamilton to write a report, to be submitted for publication, on my original action research study, "How can I help students improve their writing using available resources, parent involvement, and developmental assessment tools?"

A dialogue journal, using e-mail correspondence, was established with my critical friend, Cheryl Black, to ensure my values were consistent in my "living standards of practice." Cheryl is a Vice-Principal for the Grand Erie District School Board and has become my trusted friend and action research advisor over the past 3 years.

Costa and Kallick (1993) articulate a critical friend as,

a trusted person who asks provocative questions, provides data to be examined through another lens, and offers critique of a person's work as a friend. A critical friend takes the time to fully understand the context of the work presented and the outcomes that the person or group is working toward. (cited in Lambert et al., 1995, p.89)

Cheryl challenged my thinking, providing resource suggestions and supportive feedback in our dialogic conversations.

I identified a teacher to dialogue with regarding critical conversations such as significant moments of change in her practice and how I could support her to improve student learning. Evaluation sheets were provided to teachers to get immediate responses to my actions after workshop presentations and planning sessions with teachers.

Videotapes and photographs were used to document the "voices" and body language of the teachers.

We are so caught up with the symbolic value of 'voice' that we risk forgetting to take seriously the very real and physical voices of teachers and students that are integral to voice-as-power, voice-as-authority, voice-as-resistance, and 'multiple-voices.' (Mitchell & Weber, 1999, p. 202)

Through gesture, tone of voice, facial expressions, and body movements, nonverbal cues and messages can be communicated. Video tapes and photographs helped me to focus, reflect on, and analyze my behaviour during workshop presentations to improve my practice as well.

I facilitated a "Teacher Book Club" where teachers participated in reading professional literature and engaged in dialogue interweaving pleasure and professional development. It is important to value professional discussion and dialogue and share new ideas and perspectives.

E-mail correspondence, letters, and notes from teachers, administrators, and curriculum support staff were collected as data. The documentation of monthly reports provided data that could be used as evidence to determine if I was having an impact at the schools.

Data Analysis and Interpretation

With the encouragement of my advisors in the narrative course, Dr. Susan Drake and Jacqueline Delong, I began the process of "narrativization" (Conle, 2000). "By narrativization I meant adding contexts and feeling, agents and histories, to facts, events, ideas and people....The act of narrativization offered a new path in my life while the concept of narrativization was part of my academic road" (Conle, p. 198).

My initial experiential narratives became the autobiographical part of my study where the origin of my value system emerged. My narratives then evolved by restorying experiences and incidents found in my reflective journal. In the movie "Finding Forrester," produced by Columbia Tristar Home Entertainment, Sean Connery makes the statement, "You write your first draft with your heart and you rewrite with your head." I believe that I wrote my reflective journal entries with my heart and then restoried the experiences using my head.

Furthermore, with all of these different hats I fluctuate between my "active self" "reflective self" (Baldwin, 1990, p. 7), walking and watching, being the participant and the researcher-observer. "Together these two selves create consciousness: the awareness of ourselves within our own existence" (p. 7) and so I speak of the "voices within" for "conscious people are aware of the influence and guidance available through...inner whispers. The directions for our quest most often come from within"

The "writing helps [me] to distinguish between [my] different voices, making aspects of [my]self become more audible and possible" (Diamond, 1993, p. 511), validating my chorus of voices and constructing myself multivocally. But by storying and restorying, by writing narratively we can sort out whose voice is the dominant one (Connelly & Clandinin, 1990). (Cole & Knowles, 2000, p. 55)

I would frequently revisit my journal entries looking for patterns as well as "living contradictions" (McNiff et al., 1997) that would weave in and out of the emerging texts.

I did not begin my study with a literature review. "Relevant literature was pulled in more or less continuously as the personal was being explored and particular issues needed to be better understood" (Conle, 2000, p. 195). With the encouragement of my advisor, Dr. Michael Manley-Casimir, I began to weave explorations of the literature into my narratives and journal entries, integrating the literature into the storylines. My literature review developed a symbiotic relationship with the data that were my life and "the interactions with whom we live and learn" (Carson & Sumara, 1997, p. xxvii).

The data collected needed to be turned into evidence on an ongoing basis to answer the question, "What kind of evidence will I gather to show that what I am doing is having an " This was an ongoing question in my data gathering procedure. Evidence of my support in encouraging lifelong learning with teachers was documented in my reflective journal entry.

Summer Institutes - Grade 3 Focus Meeting

V.S. approached me about starting up a Professional Reading Club. She expressed her concern with not making time to keep up on professional reading. I agreed with V.S. that a Professional Reading Group was a wonderful idea and that I would make arrangements to organize the group. I discussed this proposal with the Program Co-ordinator of Curriculum, who commented that by V.S. feeling comfortable enough to approach me to start this program, it supported my values in encouraging lifelong learning. He commented that in my practice I am supporting and encouraging lifelong learning with teachers. (H. Knill-Griesser, reflective journal, August 21, 2000)

The method of gathering evidence varied throughout the project. In my weaving through the data, like the interconnecting threads of the dream keeper, I documented how earlier scenarios transformed into later ones, showing that things were moving in the direction of my values or highlighting living contradictions. Earlier comments on questionnaires connected to comments in my reflective journal that provided evidence to show that what I was doing was having an influence.

A vital question that must be addressed in an action research study is, "How will I ensure that any judgements I might make are reasonably fair and accurate?" (McNiff & Whitehead, 2000, p. 209). To test the validity of my explanations of my professional learning in my inquiry, I submitted my research reports to two validation groups.

In saying that you believe you have influenced your work situation for the better, you are making a claim to knowledge....Other people need to validate your claim to knowledge: they need to agree that things really have developed in the way you think. You can then say in all honesty, 'I am claiming that I have influenced this situation because I investigated how I could improve my work; what's more, I have the backing of other people to endorse that what I am saying is fair and accurate.'(McNiff & Whitehead, 2000, p. 209)

My first validation group included the members of the Grand Erie District School Board and Brock University Masters Cohort Group. The validation group was comprised of 15 practitioner-researchers involved in individual masters research projects. Progress reports specifying what had been completed and next steps were presented periodically to the group. Evidence was offered to support the claims that were being made in my report. Advice was requested from this group to move my thinking forward. Professional literature suggestions were offered by the group assisting me with connecting my study to theory. The sessions were videotaped for future reference. This group recognized the struggle and guilt that I was encountering with one of my research questions, "How can I improve the quality of my influence in the classroom?" When I was hired for my new role as teacher consultant, my perception of the role was working directly in classrooms with teachers and students. I found improving the quality of my influence in the classroom an impossible task, as I found my role a level removed from the classroom. This resulted in an overwhelming feeling of guilt that I was not successful in my role as teacher consultant. This validation group encouraged me to revisit my question and focus on reworking my question to read,

How can I as a teacher-consultant support teachers to improve student learning and improve the quality of my influence through an exploration of my living and developmental values in my professional practice?

The group helped me to recognize that my role was to support teachers, and when I improved the quality of my influence in supporting teachers, I would be assisting teachers in improving student learning in the classroom.

This validation group participated in a final validation exercise to look at my summative report on July 20, 2001. The validation session was again videotaped for future reference. My presentation was a culminating activity of my 2 year study represented by an audiovisual presentation and hands-on activity creating a dream keeper. The group agreed that my claim to knowledge was a valid claim and my research was able to move forward to the publishing stage, thus contributing to the professional knowledge base of educators. My thinking was moved forward when Dr. Michael Manley-Casimir, Dean, Faculty of Education, Brock University, St. Catharines, Ontario, commented that my study was much broader than the professional practice of the educator. "It is really a fundamentally existential and ontological question about how one is in the world" (M. Manley-Casimir, final validation session, July 20, 2001).

My second validation group included the members of the Brant Action Research Network (BARN). This group was made up of co-practitioner/researchers including teachers, administrators, and supervisory officers. A progress report and chapter of my project was initially sent to each member of the group before the validation meeting attached to the following e-mail.

Please find attached a copy of the paper that I will be presenting at BARN next week. It will be one of the chapters in my action research project proposal. I am looking for input, as BARN will be my validation group. I thought you might like a chance to read it ahead of time. (H. Knill-Griesser, e-mail correspondence, January 24, 2001)

Members were encouraged to respond to the chapter in writing or by attending the scheduled meeting date if they had any concerns regarding the validity of my claim to knowledge and to comment if my values were evident in my practice. Cheryl Black, a member of the Brant Action Research Network and Vice-Principal for the Grand Erie District School Board, commented on the content of Chapter One in my study stating,

When you talk about your childhood, educational experiences, and spirituality, all those pieces form the context study as much as the physical context of the job of which you are doing and you have applied all these pieces. I thought that was really good. (C. Black, Brant Action Research Network Meeting, January 31, 2001)

Janet Trull, a member of the Brant Action Research Network and Early Literacy Teacher for the Grand Erie District School Board, could not attend the meeting; however she e-mailed the following response,

Heather...I love the way you connected your school experiences to your teaching experiences. It makes a great story. It makes me want to do a similar format for myself. It is very revealing, especially the way you integrate memories into what we know about good pedagogy. It creates a comfort zone for 's of real interest and importance, as it activates those early school impressions that stay with us. (J. Trull, e-mail correspondence, January 31, 2001)

The "reflexivity" of the researcher is the ability to monitor his or her role in gathering and analysis of data. According to Tricoglus, it is the critical spirit in which the research has been carried out. "This critical spirit takes place both internally: in the form of the researcher's self-awareness and reflexivity; and externally in opening the research to the scrutiny and critical appraisal of others" (2001, p. 138). The validation groups viewed my work with cautious and critical eyes (McNiff et al., 1997), offering critical feedback to move my thinking forward.

A critical incident in my action research study was the process of submitting my research proposal to the Brock University Research Ethics Board before beginning my project. The Research Ethics Board responded that my proposal required clarification and that I could not proceed with my work until issues were addressed and approved by the committee. This issue is addressed in detail in Chapter Four as I discuss complications in my quest.

I now approach the end of my journey as I ask the question, "What will I do then?"(McNiff & Whitehead, 2000, p. 206). This question is discussed further in Chapter Five. It is essential for me to share my research in order to contribute to the professional knowledge base of educative researchers. This form of data representation will strengthen the validity of my account. Leitch & Day (2000) acknowledge this process, stating,

Without access to the idea of the action-reflection cycle, embodied in the different action research approaches, and the expectations and rigours of writing up, inherent in action research projects, reflection could remain tacit, amorphous, "in" action and with little perceivable benefit to practice. (p. 186)

Sharing is not the ending, but the beginning of a new action research cycle. Action research is a "career-long autobiographical project" (Cole & Knowles, 2000) that I will embrace to improve my practice and subsequently improve student learning. John Schaar states,

The future is not some place we are going to but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them changes both the maker and the destination. (cited in Costa & Kallick, 2000b, p. 32)